Ada: The Truth About Relationship “Expectations”
Our college life was over and Ada was going for higher studies while I was about to join my job. I still remember the last talk I had with her in college.
We were sitting on a bench inside the campus. I was very sad, in fact about to burst into tears. I don’t wanted the college life to end, more importantly I don’t wanted her to go. On the other hand she was smiling and looking like nothing was happening.
“Are you happy? Don’t you feel sad that the college life is about to end?” I asked her curiously.
“It’s not like that Sanki. In fact you know I treated college as my family. I’ve never got such good friends anywhere. Whenever I’m at home I always miss you guys, specially a person like you. You are kind of my family, so obviously I’m sad”. She said while looking deep into my eyes.
“Oh… but you don’t even look like that”. I said sarcastically… “I don’t want to go away from you, you are the one who added colors to my black and white life”, I added.
“You are mistaking here my dear. First of all, how can you expect such thing to happen? Second, you knew that one day we have to be on our own paths”. She said with an upset tone.
“Mistake…. what kind of mistake? Can’t I expect anything from you, even after sharing such a deep bond and understanding”.
“I’m not saying that you should not expect from me”. She said while smirking.
“Then?”, I asked curiously.
“You know what I like most about you. You are always very curious. Okay! Tell me will you be happy if this expectation of yours is not met”? She asked while looking at my face, trying to read my mind.
“No, I’m not happy at all. You are going, I don’t know when we will meet again. I’m very sad, that’s it”. I replied while lowering my eyes.
“I thought so. That is where you’re mistaking my friend”. She smiled while pulling my right cheek.
“What mistake?” I asked.
“You haven’t understood yet? I’m amazed, as you are a great self-motivated person but you didn’t get it?” She asked with wide eyes.
I haven’t said anything for a moment. I was very happy from inside after hearing her thoughts about me. But shocked also because I didn’t knew what she was trying to convey.
“Okay. Here is the point. There is nothing bad in having expectations; you should have expectations from yourself and others. But you shouldn’t base your happiness on the result of the expectation“. She said while looking at me. I still didn’t get it but I haven’t said a word and she has read my mind again and said:
“Okay, to demonstrate, you expected that I shouldn’t go away. This is what you want and that’s okay. But you shouldn’t put your happiness on the result. Like you shouldn’t believe that if Ada is going to be with me, I’ll be happy otherwise it’s okay to be sad”. She said smiling. “And that is true in any area of life, with every relationship you have”, she added.
I still was unclear what she wanted to convey but I smiled and thought- since today is the last day with Ada, let’s make it memorable.
I got up and pulled her hand to make her stand. “Let’s do something crazy right now, will you come with me?” I asked with all excitement.
She doesn’t said anything but smiled and got up. Ada always loved my surprises and the way I live my life. I took her outside boys hostel. I went inside and came with a small packet. We went to the top of the mountain which was inside our campus. I knew she always wanted to climb it, at last day I wanted to fulfill her dream.
Once we were at top, I opened the packet which was full of phuljhadi (A type of firecracker). After seeing that she got emotional, tears started rolling her eyes. Ada looked at me with ultimate happiness and bliss. Although the daylight was all around us but we celebrated Diwali at the top point of the campus. That evening I dropped her to the station.
Yesterday morning, when I went for a run; my target was to run 16 km but, after 8 km I felt that I was loosing my posture and energy, so I backed out and stopped running. After cooling down, I sat on a park chair and observed the beauty of Sukhna lake.
I realized that I was not upset with my performance; in fact I was pretty much happy. In past, when such thing happened, I used to feel very disappointed. Then I felt Ada’s presence on the chair and suddenly, the last day conversation with her flashed in-front of me. She was saying:
Having expectations is okay but you shouldn’t put your happiness on the result of it. That is true in any area of life, and with every relationship you have.
I smiled and came back home. Yesterday, I completely understood what Ada wanted to say that day. Yes I expected from myself to complete 16 km. But I haven’t managed to do that and it was not making me sad. I nailed it 🙂
One of the main reasons of blunders in relationships is expectations. I’m so happy while sharing this experience with you. Hope it will inspire you to live a happy life irrespective of the things or situations you’re going through.